Nobody cares.
That was Sahil Bloom's message at a MindValley summit last weekend (well, one of them).
It sounds harsh, but it's true.
We're not afraid of failure. We're afraid of what people might think and say.
The Spotlight Effect tells us people are noticing and judging us when, in reality, nobody is really looking at you. Everyone is occupied with their own lives. Even if they do notice something, they will forget about it and move on.
So what's stopping you from making that change that's scaring you?
I delayed becoming more visible in my 'new life' for a long time.
My perception of myself was the poster child for hardcore driven female. I was uncrackable. Emotion was a sign of weakness.
Whatever needed to get done, I got done.
Perfectionist, overachiever, FUF (F-Up Fixer - yes, that's a thing and I prided myself on it.)
I had enough people tell me how scary I was through most of my career, so stepping out and being visible with a different perspective took a really long time. I still get a cold shiver when I hit the button on some of my posts. I find myself describing it as tearing off a layer of skin when people speak to me about what I'm posting about.
That fear of judgement is visceral.
I also find myself dealing with the internal narrative that I've gone soft. I have to keep nipping that one in the bud. That need for validation and approval from people in my old life is still there.
So this needs to be spoken about.
Too many people are stuck not doing what they know is right for them because they're afraid of what others may think.
Women, especially.
Women of colour, next level, especially with the weight of cultural and family expectations on top of work expectations.
So, yes. Nobody cares.
Go and do that thing you've been afraid of doing if it feels right for you.
The important people who care about you will support you. Those that don't support you don't deserve an opinion.
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